The Coconut

Today as i was reminding my 14 yeart old cousin that Africa is a continent and not a country, she started shouting that I was a coconut, I didn't know anything about Africa, and all I could do was to come here as a tourist and criticise.

It always pissed me off to hear " go back to your country Africa". If you've been to school you should know it's a continent compsed of many countries.

What upset me wasn' t so much the bit about Africa being a country, not even the bit about me being a "fake african", something i've heard many time. Going to the white man's school and land robbed me of Africanness. Being in favour of democracy, questionning the fact that "a black child is stubborn and the only way he can learn is by being beaten", also disqualify me as a real African.

What upset me was being rejected for telling the truth. Africa IS a continent. That much I know about Africa.

People who stayed know the guilt those who left for different not necessarily better shore, feel. Denying the returnees the feeling of belonging is I suppose due to resentment, a feeling of having been left out, a way for those who never left to reassert their own status face to some hypothetical threat posed by the newcomers? I don't know I'm no psychologist.

I am expected to go along and pretend all is fine here, and things are so drastically different in Africa, I need a different set of morals to appreciate things. It is normal there are no roads because it's Africa. It's ok not to have electricity for 16 hours a day because it's Togo. I'm shocked by the hypocrisy of it all. And shocked that only if i stop pointing at discrepancies than I'll be reinstated as an African. Because it seems the real African does not do self-criticism, doesn't try to assess what needs to be improved, doesn't do anything to change the status quo. In that light, our neighbours in Ghana and Benin are not real Africans either.

If I wanted holidays I would not have bothered coming back to Togo I wanted to tell my cousin, there are much nicer places to go to. I criticise because I want things to change and I cannot live in denial of the obvious. I'm not pretending to be more than I am: someone who have a lot to learn on all things Togolese, and willing to give a helping hand wherever I can. But if things are so good here that none of the contribution the million of Togolese abroad can offer is needed at all, then maybe I shouldn't have bothered coming back after all and neither should they.

From Lomé to Wales

Since I wrote all i've been up to in an email to a friend in Wales, and time's running out, I'm cutting and pasting.... pictures coming soon.

Hi there
Hope they dont read our mails but i think they can check where people go the most, forbid access to some websites etc... they also know where people are using phones!! on the screen of your phone your location shows and changes according to where you are.
(State control on access to communication and apprently the reason why there's no plans to implement high speed access to the Internet for example. In the week leading to the presidential elections last year, no calls could get in or out of the country. Now that's an achievement...)

Work is interesting although some time i just sit around reading and som days im out all day looking for children's parents, double checking their stories, going to the police to get children who've been brought in because of abuse or domestic violence, going to visit families where there's a suspected case of abuse etc...
I'm off tomorrow to a town inland for some sort of training but don't know what will be going on yet. Spending a lot of time observing and gosh... people in the West have no clue of what kind of help people here need and how to deliver it. But then most people in the West don't have a clue about Africa.

I think it's been actually way warmer than 27° for the past couple of weeks !!! the weather is changing and the wind from the Sahara ( the Harmattan )is starting to blow so it's a bit cool in the morning (23 ish ) and scortching hot at midday (35 37)

Missing england some time but not too much yet!! missing vegetables but i think it's just the cooking in the house who's different from my mother's cos i see loads of vegs at the market but just not in the pot!! my aunt is kinda stingy so i think that's why... Eating pounded yams and some polenta type of hard porridge made with maize and we eat it with loads of different stews, too much rice for my liking (but that's because i'm from the bush... im more the porridge thingy or yam type of girl.. it's sophisticated people who eat rice)
I'm at the the moment with my doctor uncle and he's not the one with the cook and the luxurious house but on the + side i've got the company of my cousins (25 19 14 12) and it's actually quite nice to have a house full of people i can talk with.

Dont go to church but my aunt does every morning and the youngest kids on sunday. But it's funny how as the country is growing poorer churches and mosques are mushrooming... i guess it's because the message is that in the next life in heavin things will be different, and it's undertandably tempting. Quite a shock to see women wearing the burqah just like in Birmingham!!! That's quite new and shows how far and fast radicalised islam is spreding. Same deal with End-of-the-World type of churches very popular and i'm not down with their tune either

As i was too tired to do anything saterday night, spent the evening of my birthday at home with my cousins watching Miss Ecowas (Miss West Africa basically). Quite a long way from the Michelin starred chef owned restaurant of last year, but still very enjoyable.
The event was publicised big time and it was held in Lomé because here is a country where peace, stability and democraty reign... but the venue was empty. I guess people saw through that one!
The show was tacky, the musicians all sang in play back, the camera crew of one kept on giving us stills of the empty stage of shots of random people and the for the girls.... Miss Nigeria was quoting the Bible like no tomorrow to tell us that the role of a woman is to submit to her husband (we booed...) an other girl said that polygamy was a practice to be defended because since there were more women than men, it gave all women the chance to be housewives!! (we booed too... but she actually won! 2 25kg bags of rice, a few expensive cloths to makes dresses with, some money, and the chance of meeting our President the next day...).

Nice to be home, where i'm not even a black person anymore, just a person among a lot of people looking just like me. The other day the cab driver didn't even pick up the fact I was just coming back from abroad (sometime my rusty Mina give away the fact i havn't been here for a while) and I was quite chuffed!

That's the latest new from far far awy geographically and culturally