Time Travel 2

Wonder Woman by Terry Dodson

3. Our sister Killjoy (read the original from AA Aidoo)

I'm travelling solo and I'm enjoying it even more than i thought I would!
I can go where I want, when I want and do whatever I want to do.
To be honest though, the practice for a young black woman is slightly more eventful than that.
I sit at a table in a restaurant and I'll always be asked if I'm waiting for some company.
As I'm obliged to admit that I'm lunching, dining, drinking by myself, that's when things get interesting.
Waitresses have a tendency to disappear thinking I won't have the balls to make myself notice or a fuss if the service is bad they dont know me...); or they try to be my new best friend like.. poor sweetheart...no friend, no man...all alone..).
Waiters are overly nice, will give you freebees (on the house) and try to see you after their shift (yeah right...).
Male customers are the most hilarious though: Black men here must think they're straight out of videos because I actually had drinks sent to my table by that guy who after a while came to introduce himself ... well he said he wanted to "holla atchu" and left saying " yo who you giving that attitude to?"
White guys scan me from head to toes and then ask... how much...

I sometime feel like an alien here (in the etymological sense: I cannot relate to people and they cannot relate to me).
I'm watching the inhabitants, studying customs and beliefs systems, sampling the food and trying to understand the local languages.
This country is literally wonder full and I'm.. Wonder-woman.

America is the country of "here and right now".
Patience is a default and greed is good.
Rudeness is called efficiency and ignorance is … patriotism.
Things seem to be either black or white but people are categorised in 1001 shade of colour.
No shame, all gain and God is on their side.

I have issues with how people use God's name to justify whatever might raise the common believer's eyebrow...
Crusades and Gaza Strip, slavery, Louis XIV and Henry VIII... all in God's name...
I have issues with the American... Because when they are not talking about guns (the NRA, Bin Laden, Saddam,Vietnam veterans... already maddening stuff) they are talking about God...
The Americans believe they are the true children of God, the 13th Tribe of Israel, the Anointed:
" Our manifest destiny [is] to overspread the continent allotted by Providence for the free development of our yearly multiplying millions" ...
this was written in the Democratic Review in 1845 (...) and displayed in the Museum of American History in Washington DC.
If there were a need for the slaughter of the Native Americans, the slave trade and the "War on Terror" look no further...
I still dont understand though, how this self-proclaimed
God-loving people manage to behave so... ungodly!

Which brings me to reality TV.
Big Brother 4, Plastic Surgery: Before and After (or how people are really really mad, I've seen a man getting silicone calves implants!, surgery is better than dieting but can go terribly wrong... )
Love or Money 2 (a woman (the winner of the 1st edition of the show... and yes she chose the money over love...1 million $...) has to choose from 50 guys the one who "truly loves her". If the man chooses her instead of a cool 2 millions $) she keeps the man AND the money... if the man chooses the money well she loses everything.... (confusing and all that whitihn 5 weeks))
Temptation Island 3, Who Want to Marry my Dad, and my favourite: Meet my Folks (basically the family of a young (and rich) man get to choose his "fiancee" from a bunch of women...
In all those shows, there's loads of naked flesh, curses (blipped of course), and sex...
Well, actually no. Not really.. here as long as there's no penetration there's no offence
(that's how Bill got away with it...)so in that regard, indeed, you wont see a sex scene on american TV.

The only thing I found, worse than TV is the relationship americans have with food and their bodies.
Half the commercial are about fat, sugar/salt and artificial colouring-clad junk food. the other half...
miracle pills and creams, home gym machinesthat you can owe for 9.99$ only ( a month, over 60 instalments, plus interest....).
Does it require a rocket scientist to see that fried pickles (yep), fried ravioli (indeed)
and double chocolate banana cookies will kill your heart,not mentioning your tastebuds?

Anyways... I'm hitting the freeway once again, leaving Minneapolis
where I'm spending a long weekend,
and should be getting to Tampa, Florida (via New York ... again..)soon.


I never made it to Florida.
On our way back from Minneapolis my sister and I were involved in a car accident and i was flown back to the UK.
I had a good giggle re-reading these emails though: five years on i'm still hooked on bad tv, still travel on my own and still have a bit of an attitude.

Time Travel 1

Artwork: Atsoupé Kpognon

Was trying to clean my inbox/procrasinating when i stumbled upon these emails i sent to a happy few while traveling the USA five years ago.

Vintage 2003 spelling mistakes included.


1. Once Upon a Time in America

I can hardly believe it's been two weeks since I've landed in New York.
Feels like I've been here for an eternity and at the same time feels like I've just arrived yesterday!

I had the brilliant idea of arriving a friday evening which meant that after a 11 hours journey, 2 planes, 5 hours time difference,
I found myself hopping from bars to lounges drinking Cosmopolitans...

A few hours sleep and by a bright saturday morning, I'm in Harlem for the African-American Book Fair.
In spite of the jetlag and the alcohol still in my system, I've managed to follow a couple of conferences on morality, self-abuse,
love and the future of my Brothers and Sisters (amen!).
I've even managed to takes notes (even though re-reading what i've scribbled, i can hardly make sense of it. must have been pretty hagard because all i've got is stuff along the lines of:
"I'm choosing my direction by making the right connections" what the hell that means...dont have a clue.. just sound really cheesy right now!).
Then, some more socialising and drinks and .... i collapsed. Spent the entire week sleeping! Something between 16 to 18 hours a day.
The rest of the time was spent getting some tan in the Park or watching TV ( my friend got 1032 channels. Whether the access to such an amount of channels is a sign of progress of technology, or of the decadence of a vain society that drown itself in a constant flow of images to escape its vacuity, is an other question... will have to come back on the subject later after more field work...).

Since Monday, after some deserved rest, I've set out to discover the Big Apple.
In practical terms, it means walking a lot (like a hell of a lot... miles and miles, blocks after blocks, from the lower est side to the Village, from Chinatown to Tribeca, around Brooklyn (where i live), just a lot of walking...).
It also means a lot of shopping .
Oh gosh a LOT... why are they having sales ?!
life's so unfair... how can i resist so much temptation ?? Well... i cant.
I thought i came for some serious soul searching but so far, seems like it's been some intense shopping experience althought i think
it's part of the therapy... some kinda comfort/compulsive shopping
(bought my 8th pair of red shoes), and I'm actually discovering my inner self: true: that girl buying and... wearing (yup!) mini dresses and mini-skirts is... me!

I like New York and its frenzy. I actually feel quite comfortable here.
The city smells of roasted nuts, garbage, fried onions and hot pavement.
New York is loud, and crowded, the people, rude, diverse, plain fascinating (it's all about the style baby!).

Need to be going now. More to come but I'm in a bit of hurry:
I'm off to Washington and Maryland for 2 weeks and
need to get some stuff done before I leave.


2. A poor lonesome cowgirl

Well, I've been really lazy lately and I feel like I owe some news...
Spent some time in Washington DC (will narrate my adventures in my next mail... word!) and instead of going back to New York, I changed my mind and decided to get a taste of the "real" America...
So here i am in the wild wild west, somewhere at an equal distance from LA and NYC.... Omaha Nebraska.
The good side of being in such a remote place is that i escaped the blackout on the East Coast.
Ah the midwest... the most interesting thing was the trip from DC which took me 27h, 3 different buses, screaming kinds and the most boring country side ever....
from Cleveland (check your maps people...) to Omaha, there're just cornfields... endlessly...
I dont ever, never want to see, eat, smell of cornbread, sweetcorn, popcorn, cornflakes... ever again.
The major feature of the landscape (exept corn field i mean) is.. american flags... here, there, everywhere... really spooky...
Now, the people... here in the middle of nowhere.. sorry America, they do look like they're coming straight out of a Jerry Springer show... I'can hardly undersand the accent of those folk, and even if I sound mean and narrow minded, when i do understand, i wish i didnt.
They're so suspicious of black people here that it's actually funny...
do I seriously look like a mugger, a crack add it or something?!?
Because people are always asking me, frowning and hands on the hips, what (the heck) i'm doing there, what (the heck) i'm looking for etc...

Might sound like I'm having a horrible time but actually it's all the contrary...
I came here to see my sister. The fact that my sister lives in Paris is totally irrelevant... we love that kind of meetings in the familly...
Between observing the exotic habits of the inhabitants of the area and the swimming pool... it's all good!

back to my rest chair now.